When You’re not Looking…it will Happen?


Have you ever been told that if you aren’t looking for a significant other, that’s when it happens? I’ve always believed the assumption that if I don’t look for someone then I’ll never find them.

Then I really started to analyze that way of thinking after failed relationships and remembered that God doesn’t want us concentrating on our wants. All we need to do is want Him and put Him first and all these things will be added.

“But seek ye first the kingdom of God, and his righteousness; and all these things shall be added unto you.” Matthew 6:33

In my mind I have thought that this pertains to finding the special one, the one that may make my life complete. Actually there is no one on earth that can make my life complete. The only one that is capable of doing that is Jesus Christ. Without Him, you will never have complete joy and contentment.

So many of us are searching and searching, but only to end up with disappointment. This reminds me of the song: “Looking for Love in All the Wrong Places.” That seemed to be the story of my life because I had been consumed with looking and trying to make things happen.


True joy will pass you by if this is your goal. Your goal should be to pray for patience and strength and for God to find the one for you in His good timing. This really makes a lot more sense than jumping ahead of him and never finding the one that is absolutely the best partner.

“Ask, and it will be given to you; seek, and you will find; knock, and it will be opened to you.”
Matthew 7:7

I know it’s much easier said than done, but if you’re saved and have been born again, it makes the process actually work. Being born again consists of verbally confessing your sins to God and belief that His son Jesus Christ died on the cross for our sins. We don’t have to have a perfect life to get into heaven for eternity. What a comfort that is!

The hardest part is staying on track after praying this. But if you read or listen to the Bible and pray daily, you are going to notice that you are joyful even though you haven’t gotten what you desire.


Now I still sometimes get depressed when I start feeling sorry for myself that I don’t have companionship with anyone but that is Satan trying to make me miserable so I’ll go back to my old way of thinking. Concentrating on this diverts my attention away from God and His plan for me. Achieving this willpower doesn’t happen overnight, it takes perseverance and prayer but you will have the help of the Holy Spirit to guide you into making the right decisions.

I’ve even surprised myself sometimes with recent decisions I’ve made. I would have never thought or made right decisions like this before I had His help. It is the best and most perfect guidance for my life…who better than the all-knowing God?

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30


  1. Very well said and absolutely true!

  2. When we seek the kingdom of God and its righteousness, all other things will be added such as joy
    Thanks for sharing this!


  3. I feel you SO MUCH. Thank you for sharing.

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